


Ninety-Nine Bottles and a Broken Vase

by godamnarmsrace



Series: My Tumblr Ask Love Reply Fics [6]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: 99 bottles of beer, Boys Being Silly, Boys In Love, Cain gets an eyeful, Cain is so done with these too, Drunk Aaron Dingle, Drunk Robert Sugden, Drunk Robron, Emmerdale - Freeform, Fluff, Groping, Kissing, M/M, Robert sings when drunk, cute boys being cute, robron - Freeform, semi-naked boys cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 16:55:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10768491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godamnarmsrace/pseuds/godamnarmsrace
Summary: The boys are drunk and Cain is tasked to get them home safely.“Ninety-five bottles of beer on the wall, Ninety-five bottle of beer. Take one down, pass it around. Ninety-four bottles of beer on the wall,” Robert sang out at the top of his lungs, his arms gesturing enthusiastically.





	Ninety-Nine Bottles and a Broken Vase

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the light of my life [@aarondingel](https://aarondingel.tumblr.com/) and edited by [@blueswinseverytime](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluewinseverytime/pseuds/Bluewinseverytime) thanks Matty darling.
> 
> It is probably important to note that the song "99 Bottles of Beer" does not belong to me, Robert and I are just ~~butchering~~ borrowing it for a little bit.

 

“Ninety-five bottles of beer on the wall, Ninety-five bottle of beer. Take one down, pass it around. Ninety-four bottles of beer on the wall,” Robert sang out at the top of his lungs, his arms gesturing enthusiastically.

Aaron chuckled at his husband’s antics and only stopped when a large burp escaped from his mouth. Now he just looked confused.

Cain wasn’t amused.

“Ninety-four bottles of beer on the wall, Ninety-four bottle of beer. Take one down, pass it around. Ninety-three bottles of beer on the wall,” Robert continued, much to Cain’s disgust. Seriously, he should just leave them in the middle of the village and it would serve them right. Just because it was going to be freezing tonight, didn’t mean he should be playing babysitter to two grown man-children.

“If you don’t shut up Sugden, the only bottle you’re going to have to worry about, will be the one I’ve shoved down your throat,” Cain threatened, doing his best to not to laugh at Aaron who had wrapped himself around his husband like a monkey and was clinging to his back, each of Robert’s movements carrying the potential to send Aaron flying.

“Not a Sugden, I’m a Dingle I drank from the welly ‘member?” Robert said sounding offended that Cain could forget such a momentous occasion.

“Fine Dingle then, the threat still stands,” Cain growled, completely exasperated with the pair of them. Shaking his head, Cain was happy to see the silhouette of the Mill in the distance. Not far now and he could wash his hands of them for the night. He might pop round real early in the morning, with something disgusting that would be sure to upset their delicate stomachs. Just to make their hangovers, just that little bit worse. Might as well make it the highlight of his day.

“Ninety-three...meph…” Robert started to sing again but Aaron slapped his hand over Robert’s mouth.

Aaron said, in a stage whisper loud enough to be heard back at The Woolpack, “Don’t Robert! He’s mad, he might try to hurt you and then I’d have to defend you.”

Cain rolled his eyes so hard it was surprising they didn’t just pop out of his head. He could just make out their front door in the darkness. “Keys?” he asked putting a hand out.

Robert, who had practically dragged his husband most of the way home on his back, pulled his keys out of his front pocket and handed them to Cain without looking, all his attention was on Aaron. “You’d do that?” he asked, awe filling his words.

Aaron detached himself from Robert and said, “You’re my family Robert, I do anything for you.”

Oh, gag him with a spoon. Cain hurried to unlock the door and swung it open. “Okay, you’re home safely,” he turned around just in time to see Robert launch himself at his nephew, all tongue and hands, oh god, hands everywhere. Closing his eyes and pinching his nose between two fingers, Cain let out an annoyed sigh. “Can you at least wait until you’re in the house and I’ve left?”

Aaron broke away from Robert, his cheeks flushed he pulled Robert in their house without a word.

Door slamming shut, Cain had successfully completed his sister's request to _see her sons home safely_.

He made to leave but a crash from inside the house drew his attention back to their front door he noticed that the key was still swinging in the lock. Damn it. Reopening the door, he pulled the keys out and went inside just to check neither of the idiots had seriously injured themselves.

The sight that was bestowed upon him was not what he’d been expecting. Yes, there was broken pieces of glass, what looked like a vase of flowers had evidently been smashed, but stood in the centre of that destruction was his nephew and his husband both naked from the waist. Aaron had his hand shoved down the front of Robert’s pants. Throwing the keys in the general direction of the hall table, he turned and slammed the door behind him.

Heading to the pub instead of home, he figured Chas owed him a free pint or a cup of bleach to help remove the images of Aaron and Robert groping each other from his mind.

Yeah, she owed him.


End file.
